Imagine yourself in this situation. You are a normal everyday parent. You believe in God or you don't. You send your children to public school or private school. You are living your life as normal as the next fella when circumstances arise and you find yourself making a decision you never thought you would have to ponder. You are deciding whether or not to homeschool your child(ren).It may be that your child is having difficulty with rules and regulations at school. It may be that your public or private school has shut down. It may be that you or your spouse is now working afternoons and will never be able to see the kids. It may be because you found out that your child can go to college early if they homeschool...whatever reason, here you are contemplating Home Education of all things!
You are a normal gal or guy. You never really gave it much thought before now but the more you look into the idea the more you see that there are other normal people, just like yourself, who are having a wonderful time with this kind of lifestyle.
You jump in with both feet and begin your new life. You are enjoying the kids, though freaking out a little that YOU have decided to do this but other than that things are going along smoothly.
One day you are wandering around town, in the middle of the day with your children when "IT" happens. You and your children are minding your own business at the grocery store, park, field trip, zoo, museum, nature hike, play date, Science Center, or some other random social activity when a complete stranger walks up to YOU, taps YOU on the shoulder and says,
You are now staring at a random stranger contemplating your response. For the very first time you are forced to see yourself through their eyes. You now have to say...out loud...
"We are a homeschooling family."
You are about to experience the wonder and awe of the human mind. You are about to witness ignorance at its best. That random stranger, after hearing your answer, will react emotionally to YOUR family...whom they have never met before this conversation....as if you have committed a purposeful attack on their very life. Yes, it will happen to YOU, my good friend.
After you have given your answer, the Random Stranger will say one of the following statements and you...YOU...could very well be standing there, stammering...wishing you had a response....but you won't! Why? Because you did not realize that you are now one of us!
You are now considered....dunn...dunnn....dunnn...."Not Normal!"
To other people you have morphed into whatever that specific person's idea of a homeschooler happens to be. YOU are..."that" homeschooler!!!
Some people understand that homeschooling is a difficult choice made by practical parents. Some may ask questions out of legitimate inquiry, but some people are flat rude, judgmental, nasty and they...need a jolt!
These answers are NOT funny...they are just true.
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HOMESCHOOLING ANSWERS TO RANDOM STRANGERS
Random Stranger:
"Why aren't your children in school today? Did the school have a day off?"
You:
"We are homeschoolers."
1. RS: "I don't have the patience for that. You must be a saint."
You: "If you are doing homework 2 to 3 hours a night, you're already doing it...welcome to Sainthood. We just don't have to do it after a hard day's work and we don't have the stress of having to get it done in some bureaucratic time-frame."
2. RS: "Is that legal?"
You: "Yes."
3. RS: "Do you have a teaching degree?"
You: "Do you have one? You are teaching your children every night when they bring homework to your home. Does your child's school have courses for parent's to take that will give them a degree to teach their own children...after the kids have been at school all day and are tired...and you are tired from working all day....and you now have to force them to get the work done on time, know it on time and memorize it on time or else? 'Cause....that's the degree I needed when our kids were in Public School."
4. RS: "Do you have a teaching degree?"
You: "Do you have hemorrhoids?"
(rude personal question begets rude personal question)
5. RS: "What gives you the right to do that?"
You: "Their birth certificate."
6. RS: "What about Socialization?"
You: "Between sports, camp, clubs, homeschool organizations and field trips we've decided we're going to have to cut back. We just have to decide where."
7. RS: "What about Socialization?"
You: "They weren't allowed to talk in class for 7 hours a day and only had 3 minutes between classes to chat, so we thought we'd take them out of that situation in the hope to teach them to socialize."
8. RS: "What about College."
You: "I know what you're thinking. You've heard about Harvard and Yale grabbing homeschoolers left and right and that colleges are now recruiting homeschoolers but we're not going to push that in our family. We're just going to send them to the local community college when they turn fourteen like many homeschooling families do. That way they can graduate homeschool with an associate degree when they are seventeen or eighteen instead of just starting their higher education."
9. RS: "You can't possibly teach them Algebra and Chemistry!"
You: "Do you remember your Algebra and Chemistry?"
10. RS: "You can't possibly teach them Algebra and Chemistry!"
You: "That's what the community college is for." or "That's what our Co-Op is for." or "That's what tutors are for." or "Sure I can." or ...you get the drift
11. RS: "You are abandoning our public schools! It's our responsibility to fix the schools."
You: "Are you saying private schools need to fold also? The Public Schools get my taxes...they are not entitled to have my kids."
12. RS: "Why would you want to shelter your children like that?!"
You: "Shelter them as in keeping them in the same class with the same kids for 13 years, day after day, year after year?"
13. RS: "Why would you want to shelter your children like that?!"
You: " Well, the horse and buggy became too cumbersome so I learned how to drive a car. We go on field trips and outings nearly every week...unlike most traditionally educated children who may have a field trip once a year."
and my personal favorite...
14. RS: "My brother-in-law/sister-in-law/fiancee's cousin....Homeschools and their kids are bratty/stupid/too shy/too assertive/too fat/too skinny/lazy/clean house all day/talk too loud/breathe too hard/don't have any friends/talk to their friends way too much......
You: "Yes, I'm sure it's because they are homeschooled.....Public Schooled kids are perfect."
14 COMMENTS:
Haha, I love this! I needed a good chuckle for today. :o)
I will be sharing this with my Imagination Tribe group as well.
A friend of mine says, "My wife and I were also concerned that our children would miss out on the socialization available in the public schools...so once a week we take our kids into the bathroom, cuss at them, push them around, steal their lunch money, and offer them drugs, and that seems to take care of it."
So great....made me laugh! Thanks for the chuckle. :)
"My wife and I were also concerned that our children would miss out on the socialization available in the public schools...so once a week we take our kids into the bathroom, cuss at them, push them around, steal their lunch money, and offer them drugs, and that seems to take care of it."
Wow. This never, ever goes on in our public school. I do hope this answer is a joke. Spreading untruths about any child or anyone's education choice is never a good thing, right?
Frankly, everything you wrote about public school has never been our family's or many of my friends' experience, just as I'm sure a lot of the assumptions people make about homeschooling are untrue. I have homeschooling friends, unschooling friends, public school friends, and private school friends. I see more similarities in our experiences than anything: kids who are bored and kids who are motivated; kids who do well with structure and kids who flounder miserably when there isn't enough structure in their day; kids who like the social level of their education experience and kids who want more (or less); parents who are stressed out from homeschooling and want to quit and parents who are stressed out by public school and want to quit; kids who do too much socializing in public school (which is directly a result of number 7 NOT being true) and homeschool kids who use every trick in the book to get out of doing their work, too (which is why homeschool message boards are filled with parents likewise complaining that their school day is taking 2, 3, 4 hours longer than it they think it should.)
Maybe focusing on the similarities instead of doing the same thing you are complaining about - unfair generalization and assumptions about any particular education choice (in this case, pubic school) - will promote more understanding and in the long run actually get kids the education experience they want and need.
The answer to the last question speaks most to the truth: kids are kids, and teachers and teachers whether they are also parents or not. You can't make assumptions based on anecdote of any once experience, and even with research studies in front, any one type or style of education will not work for every kid. Public school is the best choice for some, homeschool for others, public school for others still and within that a million different variable.
That should say "Public school is the best choice for some, homeschool for others, private school or unschooling for others still, and within that a million different variables to consider as to whether or not the experience will be beneficial for any one child.
And, of course, that's public school, not pubic school.
Pubic schoolers you are more than welcome to criticize. ;-)
Nice rant Jozet.
If you seriously think that none of that goes on in YOUR public school ("not in MY school!", a standard answer from public school parents), the odds are against you. Drugs and bullying have been going on in schools since the 60s. While the Random Strangers that this article talks about have never been homeschooled, we've all been IN school. Even my kids were. We know what it's like there.
Jozet,
Bullying happens in every school whether we wish to believe it or not.
This post is absolutely factual. Every one of those questions have been posed to ME, and those were my answers...to various people depending on my mood and their level of indignation about our choice.
I did not say that Public School or Private School was a bad choice. My children have been to both and I was raised in various Public Schools.
This post reflects what homeschoolers must live with every day. We are indeed attacked verbally and met with snide remarks. Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and I will not apologize for helping people deal with ignorance and prejudice while we travel this less traveled path.
When people take our choice as a personal affront, it intrigues me. Prejudice isn't pretty. My answers, hopefully, reflect that back onto the person so they can challenge their beliefs more deeply.
As a side note:
#7 "Stop Talking! We aren't here to socialize!" Ring a bell, Jozet?
But meeting prejudice with prejudice isn't the answer, is it?
And yes, of course there are times when kids are told to stop talking and get to work. My homeschooler friends complain all the time about keeping their kids on task, especially with siblings in the house or at co-op groups. And in all those other "social" events we all take our kids to: scouts, sports, etc. There actually is a time and place to get to business and a time and a place to socialize. On the other hand, I have friends who have high level athletes or gifted musicians who actually put their kids back into school so that they could socialize.
I make no excuses for people who ask questions in unkind ways. But sometimes people are truly curious and don't know the landmines when asking a question. When we were planning to homeschool, I asked some of theses questions and only later realized how patient and understanding the person I was asking was being. Their patience - and no snark - in pointing me in the right direction meant everything in my understanding what homeschooling is and how it can benefit some children.
I guess I just don't ultimately fighting back assumptions and stereotypes with more stereotypes and generalizations. There are plenty of people who are intelligent and care deeply for their children and whose children thrive in public school, just as parents who choose homeschooling are doing what is best for their kids and are having a positive experience.
I've been the homeschooling route, the Sudbury route, public school and homeschool. The truth is just as I stated: there are more similarities of experience than not, both good and bad. Yes, be critical of public schools to help make them better for those who don't have the time/money/emotional resources to pull their kids out. But to be bash public school just because you feel like people have been bashing you is unfair and disrespectful in just the same way. "He did it first" is never a good justification, is it?
And Netmilsmom, I'm very well aware of the pros and cons of my particular school and I work hard and daily for my own children and for those children who don't have advocates within the school; for those who might be better off homeschooled, but whose parents do not have the wherewithal to do so. But thanks for the condescension. I'll just assume it's coming from a place of deep hurt and pain; as stated in the beginning of this post, a lot of parents do feel as if they are powerless when faced with a bad situation and likewise don't have the resources to fight the particular battles of keeping kids in public school - homeschooling is not their first choice, either. I wish you peace.
Jozet, it is quite offensive to accuse Shelly of prejudice when she simply posted her own experiences and how she handled them. Shelly is an amazing person and I find your accusation to be appalling.
Any parent that feels "powerless" needs to understand his/her role as a parent, is to parent his/her own child. If a school is not working for that child, it is the parent's responsibility to do what works for his/her child. It's not my job to make the PS better for your child. It's my job to educate my own children. Perhaps I'll consider working to improve schools once I've done my own job.
No pain or hurt here! I wish everyone could be as blessed as I am. Bless your heart.
Hi Jozet,
Your responses intrigue me. You've read my answers and perceived that I somehow "bashed" public schools, though I have, in no way, "bashed" anything.
I now, however, understand the meaning behind the phrase, "The truth hurts." You've come out of the gates swinging to defend... something...though, I'm still not sure what.
If you are happy with the public schools, have at it. I've not been put on this earth to tell you or anyone else what to do with their family. Your heated reaction to this post however, causes me to believe that I hit a nerve that you have kept very well hidden...maybe even from yourself. I can only state the reason why we've chosen our path. If that chafes your wound, I'm sorry but I just don't have your salve.
Netmilsmom: Thank you for standing up for me, my friend. You're true blue! :o)
Wow!!! I LOVED this article! This is exactly what I dread every time we go out. I HATE getting asked these questions! ;( Whose business is it? Gosh, I don't even know how they notice, or CARE.... when I see kids out w/ their PARENTS, I don't wonder why they are not in school, especially now, w/ all these on/off track systems.
And yes, many days, I'd sure LIKE to give a cocky response... boy would I!
We go over our desired response each time we go out: "Hmm... today we'll say "We homeschool", OR "We're off track", OR... we got off early today, or we're off.... we're on break... we're on a field trip....
OF course, any of these, and all of these would be true for the day, because they pretty much all apply each time, in the homeschooling world.
I see this topic hit a nerve. -Not at all shocking is it? That is precisely the point being made to begin with, that we cannot even TALK about homeschooling, without hitting SOME kind of nerve in SOMEbody.
This is an awesome, awesome post, my friend! ;)
KUDOS!! ;)
Blessings, Katie-Beth
That was hilarious!!!! I will be homeschooling my kids in the Fall. We are already used to rude comments by total strangers as we have 5 kids and twins to boot. I had a woman ask me how my twins were conceived - can you imagine asking someone that??????
"I had a woman ask me how my twins were conceived "
WOW. I can think of a hundred funny comebacks but I'm sure I would have just been standing with my jaw on the floor.
Just WOW.
Holy Moly Teamkyte,
Back in the day I would have had a zinger for her, but, alas...I grew up. Oh my...I cannot imagine! She must have assumed IVF but WHAT an assumption that was!
On another note: We also have 5 children...two are twins! What a hoot!
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